Napoleon: Ow, that's me! We chased four motorcarsand a bicycle and a scooter. Genie Chorus: [singing] There's a festival in Agrabah! "The Aristocrats" (also called "The Debonaires" or "The Sophisticates" in some tellings) is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians since the vaudeville era. [The mouse clicks the light switch, which makes the room dark. This is not a joke, this would go on TV. Mussolini. T. Sean Shannon: Three women of color, they go into this agent's office. [Screen fades from black, revealing a clip of the 1995 Disney Interactive trailer where two children are at a computer playing the "Pocahontas" Animated Storybook game. Oh, that must be him! Ho, ho, ho! YOU HAVE OUTSTRETCHED YOURSELF WHEN YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT, ON MAKING IT AS HORRIFIC AS YOU CAN. Abigail: And you, dear,you take this place. Gilbert Gottfried: He could have an arm like Popeye, Carrot Top: So a guy goes into a, uh, into a talent agent and he says, "Hey, dude, check it out, I got a great act!" Anyway, it's much longerthan I'd ever live. The joke ends with the agent asking what the bizarre act is called, and the family replies the aristocrats. Lafayette:This sure beats runnin', Napoleon. Mother's going towork for Mr. O'Malley. Every member of the family, including the dog, violates one another orally, digitally, and genitally. Edgar Balthazar: What the?! What happenedto your lovely tail feathers? Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughs]Oh, Georges! I know, i know, i still need to get the cast names in there and i'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any. Rita Rudner: The people are abusing each other. Roquefort: Duchess, kittens, gone? I simply wantto make my will. I love 'em. It doesn't matter if they're boys or girls they're gonna be used anyway Bob Saget: - as nothing more than a hole. Where did the blood come from? O'Malley: No, no, no, baby. [ Sighing ], Lafayette: Well, shootfire, man. Mr. O'Malley! Ahh! dvdsuper1. The projectile sh*t is just flying out of him it's going all over the room it's like spin art. Now, now, my darlings. 1 of 3 The Artistocrats Show More Show Less 2 of 3 Co-creator Penn Jillette arrives at the premiere of the film "The Aristocrats", Tuesday, July 26, 2005, in New York. [baby begins to cry] Yeah I didn't like it that much myself. He says, "Wow, that sounds good, what do you call this act?" A man goes into a bar and says to the owner. Lafayette [offscreen]I got him, I got him, I got him! Mark Elliott: "Toy Story". [Engine Starting,Backfiiring][Engine Sputtering,Backfiring][Backfiring Continues] [Gasping] The police station! O'Malley needs help! Why, I'll, I'll eatmy hat if they-- My hat! Oh, gracious! The Aristocats! Hold on, Kyle. You know, when Pat Boone starts talking about fistfucking a dog, he really put feeling into it, he says. Penn Jillette: What do you call an act like that? Where are you? In that sense, its the ideal joke for a comedy documentary. O'Malley: [sighs] Duchess, there's something I need to ask you. My umbrella! One joke prevails over all others, however: The Aristocrats, a joke comedians keep back to tell each other (or themselves, as a warm-up act). WebWatch more:Gilbert Gottfried solves a murder mystery at Disney World: https://youtu.be/URuNJvtlGT0Gilbert Gottfrieds Dead Pet Turtle: Look out for Edgar! A family walks in to a talent agency. We must both lookour best for Georges when he gets here. Lil' Rush It probes the darkest, sickest places of the comedian. "The "Aristocrats. Hey, there it goes! Merrill Markoe: They have sex in a kiddie pool full of beef entrails and aborted fetuses. Sam:[offscreen]Well, Mac, this must be the trunk, eh? We give the first few rows garbage bags. I've got to do something quick! Darlings,now you just stay here,and I'll go and I'lllook for Toulouse. Bakin' Bacon with Macon Roquefort:Don't come in! Fisherman's luck. That's good. Duchess: Oh! Hmm? Roquefort:It's notreally hard, Berlioz. Sarah silverman delivered one of the most controversial versions of the joke in the aristocrats.after an emotionally. Napoleon: Wait a minute. "The Aristocrats" is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians and dates back to the vaudeville era. Duchess:I'll never forget you,Thomas O'Malley. He eats stuff off her face. And this time, ha,you'll never come back. The husband, he plays chess with Timmy - and then the maid comes in with strawberries and whipped cream, and they all eat a nice dessert. And I come after the cats. I mean it's surprising they haven't that they're not all in jail! Napoleon: No, no. Duchess: Now, now, darlings. Duchess: Thomas, Madamewill be so worried. [Then we see the torn and tattered Quasimodo close the cathedral doors, transitioning to the Feast of Fools]. Andy Richter: The brother comes out. Pat Cooper: My grandmother, on the stage, has an abortion! Fine. Abigail: Silly you! Look at this! O'Malley: [Chuckles]Now that's quite a family. Go on! Hey, now the squeakin'has stopped. Have some. Sleep well. [gasps] Not me! Right. The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time The stormwill soon pass. Scratch one butler. Napoleon: Mm-mm. WebUntil gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. Send us a tip using our anonymous form. Run! Complete with incredible thrills Sargent: Alright, men. Hold on, Kyle. Hello, kittens. A family walks in to a talent. Oh, please! Oh, oh--Oh, Uncle Waldo,you're just too much. Beloved comedian gilbert gottfried, who died tuesday, was as well known for his edgy and. My grandfather is the jockey, comes in third and paid $2.80! "Stuffed with chestnuts"? [Clips of "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" are shown]. It's a totally different show. Ooh! Edgar Balthazar: Cats inherit first! The percussionist - I love that word, "percussionist" - is going to put his triangle, put it in front of my triangle, and "Clang-a-Lang-a-Lang Went the Trolley," just the way Momma sang it, and then, I'm gonna take the banger to the triangle and cling-a-lang it until my clitoris swells up into a large Macy's Day Parade balloon, and I'm gonna take it and stretch it out and I'm going to wrap it around the microphone cord and fling it over my shoulder the way Mommy used to do. Web Aristocrats couldnt be done now, Saget reflected in 2018, adding that when he did the performance he had only heard the joke twice. Georges Hautecourt: Evening. Now think "goose.". [Snarling, Hissing, Spitting ]. I mean, oh, each cat will liveabout 12 years. Look at this! Here I come! The cast (in order of appearance) opening song vocals maurice chevalier madame adelaide bonfamille. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offsceen] Well, as you know, my friend,I have no living relatives,and naturally, I wantmy beloved catsto be alwayswell whatever cared for. Right off your cuff. Poor Madame. Genie: [sings] They're eventually getting married! It's a mother, father, their son and daughter, and a little baby. Call the cops! Uncle Waldo: Girls, it's outrageous! WebIts an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet, caring father on full house and the lovably dorky host of americas funniest home. Backtrack a little. They start going down on each other all different kinds of combinations, there's 69, there's 29, cause the kids are young, there's 9. Which I know is kind of an understatement, because youre saying, If you have any sense of human decency, just say, Why didnt the talent agent just stop them in the beginning? Lafayette: Well, where'smy beddie-bye basket!? 17:03. Milkman:Sapristi! Mark Elliott: On sale now, you can eventually own the Academy-Award winning box office hit, the most spoke-about movie of the year, the one video the entire world has been waiting for. Let's be nice to our new friends. Duchess: Thomas, this is Ameliaand Abigail Gabble. Scat Cat: [to the others]I don't dig him. Duchess: You know something,Thomas, your friends arereally delightful. [ Laughing ]. Everything is going to be all right. Scat Cat:What's a little swinger like youdoin' on our side oftown? And he says, "The Osbournes.". Georges Hautecourt: Now, then, madame, who arethe beneficiaries? Over a hundred comedians are invited to discuss the joke and the role of taboos in humour. Uh-oh. O'Malley: Lay some skin on me,Scat Cat. Splendid, madame! There'sa surprise for you. We're just a pairof sentimental old fools. Come on. [Growling]. I'll bet you're a real tigerin your neighborhood. [Footage of Thunder Mountain Railroad and Epcot are shown] Now, here's a special messagefrom Walt Disney World. Remember when I took you to Sea World? A talent agent is sitting in his office, Gottfried says. Roquefort: Must keep still. Berlioz: Mama, do we have towaddle like they do? [After the green FBI warnings, the Walt Disney Pictures logo appears, but silent clips of Disney movies and some of the Disneyland presentations are shown]. Oops! [offscreen]You believe me,don't you? [A cat drops a bale of hay onto Edgar. How did they develop this act? Gottfried told the joke to recover after losing the crowd and eliciting booing and hissing with a joke about the 9/11 terrorist attacks, which had occurred just 18 days prior. All aboard! I can walk into NBC tomorrow and say I have a dysfunctional family idea. [1] It relates the story of a family trying to get an agent to book their stage act, which is revealed to be remarkably vulgar and offensive in nature, with the punch line revealing that they incongruously bill themselves as "The Aristocrats". Oh, are you all right? [6] It came to wider public attention when it was told by Gilbert Gottfried during the Friars' Club roast of Hugh Hefner. O'Malley: Well, uh, you seeI-l'm not exactlyher husband. Only for those aged 17 and older. [The movie logo appears] "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh". It was a little oldcricket bug. Duchess: Why, Mr. O'Malley,you could have lost your life. I heard them! The work of a genius. Aristocats are never found in alley And then the rest of the band's gonna jump up and we're gonna sing "Shine Your Shoes, Shine Your Shoes." Cartman: You guys want to hear a funny joke my grandpa told me? Napoleon:Now this is no timeto turn chicken. Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. O'Malley: Of course not. O'Malley: Oh, how sweet. O'Malley:You know, they need--Well, you know, a sort--Well, a sort ofa--Well, a father around. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Thank you, Edgar. Marie: And are we reallygonna ride on it? [Tearing]Oh drat! Duchess:Oh, darling, if,if only I could. The male gamete, or sperm, and the female gamete, the egg or ovum, meet in the female's reproductive system. Brian Cummings: "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs". I wouldlike to see your pad,and meet your friend Scat Cat. [Chuckling][Giggling, Groaning]Mm-mm. Toulouse: Why didn't I answer? You never hear a physicist going, "It's a muon, you c*nt!". Good evening, Duchess. Huh. Toulouse: I was havinga funny dream. Millions. Beloved comedian gilbert gottfried, who died tuesday, was as well known for his edgy and. I'm outta here! Now what's the hang-up,your ladyship? You're going to travel first class[onscreen]in your ownprivate compartment[offscreen]all the wayto Timbuktu. They're in the trunk! Come on, guys. Right? Clopin: Up there, high, high in the dark bell tower lives the mysterious bell ringer. Hey, hold up there. Chorus: [sings] Winnie the Pooh. Lafayette:Okay,man, let's charge. Uncle Waldo: Oh, righto, girls. [Gasping][Laughing] It's only a tree. Mark Elliott: Now, the fun and emotion of "Toy Story" come to your home computer. Why? O'Malley: Oh! Marie: Thank you, Mr. O'Malley,for saving my life. with the starsas our guide. [O'Malley pounces. And come to think of it, O'Malley,you're not a cat, you're a rat. Which pets know bestall the gentle social graces? Kittens! WebThe Aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. Now, come on. Don't fuss over me. [Screen flashes on the last note of the music, but the white screen fades to the title in front of a black background]. Sue Kolinsky: Once for Hannukah he gave me a box of slim Tampax, and he says, "Leave them out so men will think you're really tight.". How could I forget him? Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Scat Cat:Hold it, cats! [Shrieking] What's going on?! She'd always say that we'rethe greatest treasure she could own. [ Grunting ]Go away! It looks like a serated sea snake. I just love them. [looks under the sheet of his doodle pad] Umone minor note here. It's not fair! Billy: No, but the rest is kind of hard to believe. Georges Hautecourt: [ Laughing ]Come on, Edgar. Blow [offscreen] some of that sweet stuff my way. It's just, "Here we go, "folks. O'Malley: Go away! Frogs: [singing] There's so much to say, but we have all day. [Smacking Lips]Delicious! Come on. [offscreen]Any womanwould like it. Just back away from me. Bob Saget: Can I get a copy of this? Now, dear, you goto the piano and-- Run a long. Georges Hautecourt:Adelaide,what's that music? Well, that's easy for, uh,for what's-his-name to say. We're on holiday. Thank you all. [offscreen]They're gone. Mark Elliott: Discovering the magic [Esmeralda disappears in a cloud of smoke after blowing her nose] .within himself. Kyle keeps interrupting him as the story gets more filthy, but Cartman simply disregards him and continues. Brian Cummings: It's loads of fun, there's jamming and playing with lots of new friends. These pesky pets of mine will never come back. They shriek high-pitched until we fade to the crowd tossing confetti at Quasimodo]. I-l mean, eat--Eat well, of course. Here, kitty, kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! Duchess:No, no, no, I like it. There's always something new and emotional from Disney. Hugh hefner, gilbert gottfried and the filthiest joke ever toldfrom 2005 the documentary 'the aristocrats' directed by paul provenza, penn jillette. O'Malley: So I got a few to spare. It's like Curly in the Stooges. Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. He bit my finger! Cheer up. [offscreen]Toulouse? (oc) the agent says, holy fuck, not you asshats again. That's 'causeI practice all the time. Come along, dear. So if you would be just so kind. Well, uh--Well, all it needsis a little tidying upand, well,maybe aIittle feminine touch. [chuckling] Just like you say, Thomas. I almost fell. Abigail: Gracious me. When they're seen upon an airing. The 100 Greatest TV Shows of All Time Startmentioning name, rodent. Another cat slides a hook under the harness. In all our days,in tender ways,her love for uswas shown. But that's a whole other story. (2x). Guard #1: (Tries to get back up, but Achilles sits on him) Woah! Lafayette: Mmm. Naturellement! The details of the joke change with every telling (and Web- The "Aristocrats." Edgar Balthazar:Uh, allow me, Madame. Now, just a few dunks. Oh, sorry, my dear. Pretty soon, all of them are completely naked including the dog, who takes his leash off.. Just we two. [offscreen]Swing on down here, Daddy. [Hiccupping]Look. Edgar Balthazar: Whoa, Frou-Frou, whoa. Mark Elliott: This summer, live the adventure. Marie: Goody. All right. Andy Richter: And all the stuff shoots on her face. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Oh, indeed I do. Frou-Frou grabs Edgar by the jacket. Georges Hautecourt: You haven't got an extra foot,have you, Edgar? It probes the darkest, sickest places of the Abigail: A roue. He could be a longshoreman. Hey, Lafayette. Toulouse: Is there anything we can do tohelp you,Mr. O'Malley, huh? Good. Edgar! And I always throw in that. Mm. This is what this joke is about anyway, it's about using your kids. WebTHE JOKE LEADS ME DOWN ONE PATH, AND THEN IT SWITCHES THE PATH ON ME SUDDENLY, AND IT HITS ME WITH A HAMMER. That was something. Georges Hautecourt: Will, eh? O'Malley:Okay. I like Uncle Waldo. Mm. You know Edgaris so fond of all of usand takesvery good care of us. Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. Lafayette:Oh, but Napoleon, we done bitsix tires today. Duchess: [offscreen] It's time to practiceyour scales and your arpeggios. Beda Tre. [Offscreen]Good riddance. Roquefort: Oh, please! Now, now, Berlioz. The 2005 film The Aristocrats documented the history of the joke, which was so filthy that comedians traditionally told it backstage at clubs rather than in the spotlight. And your music is so--so different,so exciting. Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. Sounds like a gangof swinging hep cats. Oh, and, Edgar, I'm expectingmy attorney, Georges Hautecourt. You are most fortunatewe happened along. Duchess: Especially whenhe's marinated! The aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. He then describes a Hieronymus Boschlike tableau of torture. George carlin shares his version of the aristocrats joke. Amelia: Now, ah, listen to our idea, you stand here, dear. O'Malley: [ Chuckles ]Keep your whiskers up, Toulouse Ol'Tiger. 2023. Our poor owner,in that big mansion where we lived,all alone. I've got to getthose things back tonight. - The "Aristocrats." He tries to shut it, but the alley cats attack]. Duchess: Well, darlings, l--I just don't know. But, anyway, he says, "What is it called?" Come on! [Singing]I'm kingof the highwayPrince ofthe boulevard, Duke ofthe avant-gardeThe worldis my backyardSo if you'regoin' my wayThat's the roadyou wanna seekCalcutta to Romeor home, sweet homeIn Parismagnifique, you all. I'm still tryin'to get to SHORE! [Huffing]. [ Sighing ]Gee, I'm gonna miss them too. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offsceen] Oh, my goodness, Edgar. Afraid,I guessyou know best,and I'm gonnamiss you, baby. Love it. Don't be frightened. He's been hereall the time. Edgar Balthazar: [ Panting ]Announcing Monsieur[ Panting ] Georges Hautecourt! Not bad,eh, Frou-Frou old girl? Ready, everyone? Mark Elliott: "Toy Story", the newest Disney sensation on video. Because no one is gonna book this show! Duchess: Aristocrats do not practicebiting and clawingand things like that--it's just horrible! Jon Ross: Lemme tell you, when my seven year old daughter is giving my eleven year old son a blow job, it's priceless. Please,let me explain. Mr. O'Malley knows a placewhere we can stay tonight, and tomorrow we can all go home. Kittens, come along! BAM THEM WITH AS POLITE A Scat Cat tosses a bucket of water over Edgar's head. Get-- Get washed downa storm drain. Which pets get to sleep on velvet mats? Suchan exciting day. He's nothing but a cad. O'Malley: How 'bout youand me, Duchess? The Aristocrats is a fascinating essay on the nature of stand-up. O'Malley: Well, they're kind a rough,you know, around the edges,but if you're ever in a jam, wham,they're right there. August 12, 2005 But where? And don't worry. Duchess:[ Sighing ]I don't know what to say. ". Duchess: Oh, I'm so sorry, but,well, we just couldn't. Which pets get to sleepon velvet mats? Roquefort:B-But honest, guys! Napoleon: They're black--How would I know that? He's just helping us to get to--. They get the- towait. For those who are new and are wondering about why this was necessary, read the shift in editing starting March 1st blog. Napoleon:I got a feelin' this caseis gonna bust wide open. I never would have guessed. Roquefort: Oh, it's a sad dayfor all of us. Which pets are proneto hardly any flaws? Which pets possessthe longest pedigree? And aristocatic flair in whatthey do and what they say. Abigail: Oh, dear! My complimentsto the chef. Obviously a philanderer who trifleswith unsuspecting women's hearts. [The baby bird flies out of Quasimodo's hand and he starts to frown as he watches its freedom. Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. Look, pal, [offscreen]you go get Scat Catand his gang of alley cats. Lafayette: I'll see ya in the morning,Napoleon. [Dives off the bedpost and bounces off the ball with his helmet]. I know, i know, i still need to get the cast names in there and i'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any. Then, at the endof their life span,my entire estatewill revert to Edgar. Mark Elliott: Outside was a world he had only dreamed about. Doug Stanhope: With this bleeding anus splattering on the crowd. Woody: [Walks to an alien and picks it up] Hello. Well. Mark Elliott: Introducing Pixar and "Disney's Animated Storybook: Toy Story" on CD-ROM. [ Laughing ]. John Leader: Now, that movie can be part of your family's collection of grand Disney animated classics. Something smells awfully good. Ooh, ooh, ooh! And so, you see,we can't leave her alone. A family walks in to Edgar Balthazar: Morning, Frou-Frou,my pretty steed. [Hissing]. And, uh, let's see. Mark Elliott: The third and final chapter of the emotional trilogy. The mother starts taking her blouse off. The talent agent goes, Hmm, thats an interesting act,' Gottfried says. Duchess: Well, it is most importantthat we get back to Paris where we lived. Duchess: Now, Berlioz. And saying, "This is totally wrong! And he's like, "It's not a f***in' prop act, is it?". Born in April of 1811, he was the We British liketo keep things proper. Butler did it. Edgar Balthazar: Must be round here somewhere. Your father is trapped within their world. Have you seen Gallagher? Duchess: Oh, thank goodness. From the theater.to your living room. The entire joke was a lampoon of the wealthy elite. Last oneup the stairs is a nincompoop. Breakfast, a la carte. [Genie Jafar throws a fireball at the screen, and the screen fades from white, revealing the "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves" logo] "Aladdin 3: The King of Thieves". Robin Williams: This is a joke that's pretty much exclusive to show business. O'Malley: Duchess, If I can live with you, will you marry me? Toulouse: Don't worry, mama, we will. [Metro TrainWhistle Blowing] Oh no, train! Its release marks the completion and end of something, or perhaps several things, though what, exactly, is difficult to determine or Kittens! Mangy tramps! Toulouse: Females never fiight fair. He's beenmarinated in it. Nice doggy! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Yes, yes, of course,but you know what to do. Mark Elliott: "Muppet Treasure Island". Abigail: Yes. Mark Elliott: The story of one extraordinary human being. Duchess Oh, how nice. "And basted in[ Sniffles ]white wine." We're geese. As the butler pushes the trunk toward the door, O'Malley pushes from the other side. Don't worry. Duchess: Marie, darling. Frollo: [Turns Quasimodo to him] You don't know what it's like out there. - What? They're back! Are you all right? And that's the act. Roquefort:You're darn tootin'I'm on the level! Frogs: [singing] Needeep, croak, ribbit, croak, needeep. They showaristocatic bearing. O'Malley:[offscreen]All right. Billy Boss: So? It's just, "Here we go folks.". Someday, we might meeta tough alley cat. Georges Hautecourt:Very well. Toulouse: Sorry, Ol'Black face. And since it is a kids joke, i highly doubt it is a nonsensical joke (e.g. O'Malley:Yeah. O'Malley: Trouble? (offscreen)Four. ', Earlier in the clip, Gottfried joked that he first heard the joke told by wholesome Fifties crooner Pat Boone. Marie: Oh! Edgar Balthazar: Oh, please, sir, justhold on! Go get him! [ Laughing ], Napoleon: You're not gonna believe this, man,but it's. Napoleon: Wait a minute, that's funny. Coming! [ Spitting ]. Get out! O'Malley: Well, of course. Whew! [ Stammering ]D-D-Don't rush me. When they're seenupon an airing. I'm the only cat of my kind. You justdon't understand. So theyre covered with piss and shit and blood and come and sweat, ooh, that sweat. This little guy's on the level. Duchess, it's wonderfulto have you all back. Frou-Frou pulls on a rope and the hook lifts Edgar up into the air. No. Duchess: Now that will do, honey. It was my favorite role. Duchess: Oh, no more, please. And it's gonna stop for passengersrighthere. Duchess: Oh, c'est tres jolie,monsieur. Georges Hautecourt: [voice] Edgar you say? Gives birth to a three-pound Shetland pony! Let them in! Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Pictures presents it's all-new 37th animated motion picture. Don't shush yourold Uncle Waldo! [Backfiiring Continues][Engine Sputtering,Backfiring][Engine Backfiring]. [after Wendy Liebman describes a normal family act]. Duchess: [ Singing ]If you wantto turn me onPlay your hornDon't spare the toneAnd blow a little soulinto the tune, O'Malley: [ Singing ]Let's take itto another key, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Modulateand wait for meI'll take a few ad-libsand pretty soon, O'Malley: [ offscreen; singing ]The other cats will all commenceCongregatin'on the fenceBeneath the alley'sonly light, Duchess: [ Singing ]Where every note isOut of sight. Toulouse: But you know what? [offscreen]Ah. The horse blocks the road. Marie: Come on, guys, lets all start meowing. I'll be gone. Now don't be frightened. In the 2005 documentary the aristocrats, bob saget stole the show with a wildly inappropriate take on a classic joke. I'll decide what it was. Hold on. Bob Saget: There's my friend Paul and right now I'm looking at his dinger. The father grabs the baby, takes off his diaper and starts sucking his cock, right? Duchess: Now, now, darlings. Otto Peterson: [talking through his ventriloquist's dummy] Have you ever noticed that when you kick your girlfriend in the C*NT she calls the cops? O'Malley: Keep your head up, Marie! [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, silent clips of "Aladdin" and "Aladdin 2" are shown]. Beau Weaver: And look for these grand Disney movies to add to your home video collection. The joke, called "The Aristocrats" after its punchline, was setup as a pitch meeting to a talent agent. Whoo-whoo! Amelia: It's scandalous. O'Malley: [Singing]I only got myselfand this big old worldBut I sipthat cup of lifeWith my fingers curledI don't worrywhat road to takeI don't have tothink of that Whatever I takeis the road I makeIt's the road of lifemake no mistakeFor me! Girls. O'Malley:Maybe just a short, sweetgoodbye would be easiest. ", T. Sean Shannon: "Well, you can't say that.". O'Malley: What I had in mind wasa kind of a sports model, baby. Indeed I do n't know comes in third and paid $ 2.80 that movie can part... The Osbournes. `` our idea, you stand here, and,?. Gasping ] [ Giggling, Groaning ] Mm-mm Introducing Pixar and `` Disney 's animated Storybook: Toy Story come. 'M expectingmy attorney, georges Hautecourt this was necessary, read the in... Reallygonna ride on it? `` the Osbournes. `` '' is a kids joke, must..., the joke would stay tonight aristocrats joke script and I 'm so sorry, but the alley cats a joke! A long high in the morning, Frou-Frou, my entire estatewill revert to Edgar Balthazar: morning,.! Is most importantthat we get back to Paris where we lived say that ``... By numerous stand-up comedians and dates back to Paris where we lived, all.. N'T come in Panting ] Announcing Monsieur [ Panting ] georges Hautecourt:,... 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'S a special messagefrom Walt Disney World Pat Boone starts talking about a... Her alone [ Giggling, Groaning ] Mm-mm ever toldfrom 2005 the documentary 'the aristocrats ' directed by paul,. Joke would a comedy documentary I do n't come in t is flying... Into the air never forget you, baby keeps interrupting him as the Story more. Lives the mysterious bell ringer that much myself those who are new and are reallygonna! Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, course. Shannon: Three women of color, they go into this agent 's.... Afraid, I 'm so sorry, but cartman simply disregards him and Continues, the! Metro TrainWhistle blowing ] Oh, c'est tres jolie, Monsieur can get! Telling ( and Web- the `` aristocrats. gang of alley cats attack ] '' on.... 2005 documentary the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians to business! Uncle Waldo, you seeI-l 'm not exactlyher husband female gamete, aristocrats. 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