\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. It's up to you whether you want to apologize to Jack, but it sounds like an apology would help smooth things over with him. 5. Overly familiar, one-size-fits-all nicknames-especially from people you interact with in a professional capacity-are generally not a good look. Its generally used as a means of dominance (of course), in which theyre asserting that theyre going to say or do whatever they please because theyre top dog in this situation. You are giving them a positive way to view the situation while letting them know they are not above doing the tasks you ask of them. You may also know them as snide remarks, snarky comments, backhanded compliments, or simply being overly sarcastic. You don't have to give a compliment to give a critique. What are some examples of condescending remarks in the workplace? Youve likely seen these in social media comments sections where people are arguing with one another. But if you feel the mistake was glaring enough that not correcting it would be like letting someone walk around with a giant shred of kale in their teeth (like, perhaps they're mispronouncing the name of a client), it's best to wait until they've finished their thought entirely. It's fine to be excited that you found yourself in the presence of a celebrity or powerful figure. MANAGER: Do you think it was necessary to correct him in the middle of his talk? If you "actually" like something, you can just say you like it. Furthermore, the one calling them by those names will intensify that behavior instead of desisting in it, doing things like using the short forms in group emails, in board meetings, and so on. You did something smart, and I never expected that from you!" A more appropriate response could be I dont appreciate the way youre speaking with me, your manner seems quite patronising to me. The thing about condescension is, it can be overcome. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 32,305 times. If theyve done something thats (actually!) Dont mistake this for the honest interruption we are all guilty of. If others dont laugh, they try to brush them off as jokes. Theyll also tell others to just stop. In doing so, they are implying that you dont have a sense of humor or that you need to lighten up or get over yourself. You could say, Yeah, I totally get it how frustrating this is or Trust me, I get why this is so stressful., For example, if your boss tells you, I dont think you bothered to send the client information about the project, you could say, Ill double-check and send it over to them right now if they havent received it., If your boss directs their frustration about a company-wide problem towards you, redirect it with something like, I see how thats a problem. Example: I don't think you have what it takes. Essentially, theyre saying that your baseline standard is so sub-par that if youre doing, saying, or thinking something of worth, its quite a surprise to them. This might seem like a no-brainer, but it happens more often than you'd think. You are responding with the natural confusion you have when being questioned by an employee. Cultivate a growth mindset. At that point, she switched to speaking German (which is her mother tongue), and asked if it was in fact X book that they were looking for, since they had been unable to pronounce the author or title properly. It is very difficult to respond to patronising comments. First, talk to your boss as an individual. Trivializing. But at this point the formula is pretty easy to spot, and often the praise on either side of the critique-the real point of feedback, typically-can feel forced. JANE: He was stumbling. What to do if your boss belittles you in front of others? In 2008, Rosenstein and O'Daniel conducted a survey of more than 4,500 nurses, physicians, and other healthcare professionals from 102 hospitals to assess the significance of disrespectful behavior and its impact on patient safety. 6. MANAGER: Which of the two assessments would you prefer, if you could repeat them? Not only is it demeaning, its frustrating and even dehumanizing. By using our site, you agree to our. Other examples of condescending behavior include employees who oversimplify or overexplain things in a patronizing tone, call coworkers demeaning names like chief or sweetheart, correct little mistakes, interrupt and tell a coworker to calm down or make them feel like they're overreacting when they're not. People are creators of habit and helping each other out of harmful communication habits and power dynamics is a worthwhile aim. Here are 12 types of workplace behaviors to consider: 1. Research has shown time and again that men tend to perceive more "shrillness" and emotion in women's voices. Having someone speak or behave condescendingly to you is an awful experience. Furthermore, if you go to your boss and let them know whats going on, youll end up looking like a petty juvenile who cant handle situations on your own. Anyone could do that. Related: 5 Horrible Traits That Push People Away. This sort of "sigh, shame-on-you" comment can be used in all kinds of situations but is almost always seen as a condescending remark. Try asking other co-workers if your boss is behaving condescendingly if you arent sure. We provide both training and coaching on the subjects of condescending and demeaning behavior. No matter who you're speaking to, when you tell someone to "Take it easy," you're suggesting that their excitement, concern or general response to something is either excessive or invalid. Why cant you ever get anything done on time? you could say, You said you needed it by next Friday, so I thought I had more time., To ask for a meeting, try saying, Can we have a quick chat in your office when you get a chance?, You could practice saying, It really made me feel bad when you put me down in front of the entire staff at the last meeting., You could also say, I want to do my work well, but if youre condescending, it makes it harder for me to focus.. [disapproval] The tone of the interview was unnecessarily patronizing . "Well you have autism so you don't know how to . How do you respond to condescending remarks? EMPLOYEE 2 (Jane): Actually it was 27% increase, I saw that in the spreadsheet. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Check Out: Rewire: Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits, Overcome Addictions, Conquer Self-Destructive Behavior , $10, Amazon 1. Lead by example. Sep 12, 2022 It implies that the other person is being melodramatic or otherwise emotionally unstable, thus invalidating anything they have to say. If your manager speaks to you condescendingly because of your race, gender or other protected characteristic, then that could be illegal discrimination, but if they're just generally condescending, it's legal. But if you find that people continually patronise you, keeping resentment bottled up inside isnt the best option either. Remember that people will treat us how we allow them to treat us. But most of the time, it's safer to give them the benefit of the doubt. 1. They are the comments that are laced with attitude and hidden meaning, typically at the expense of another individual. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Also, be careful not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension. Secondly, its a dominance thing. A remark that trivializes your feelings, thoughts, experiences, or accomplishments, making you feel unimportant, invalidating your feelings or downplaying your accomplishments. Note that the behavior is acceptable in some situations and was pointed out by the manager, but it was also highlighted when it was not appropriate. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. Step 1 Step 2 Step 3. For example, if your child is making a mess of their toys, you can take a toy away to incentivize them to pick them up next time. Condescending behavior is having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority; showing that you consider yourself better or more intelligent. Then, when they make that error, theyre suddenly a perfect target for mockery and condescension. Interruption/talking over another. This is the subtle way of saying, "Wow! Grow up is not a response that is likely to make the situation any better as it pushes a whole lot of psychological buttons that are better off left alone. This response is often directed toward women, particularly in work or post-secondary environments. As such, theyll treat the one suffering with contempt and mockery rather than compassion, implying that they should just suck it up instead of acting like a baby. About Blog Press Privacy Policy Contact Us, 111 South Jackson Street, Seattle, WA 98104. EMPLOYEE 2 (Jane): Actually it was 27% increase, I saw that in the spreadsheet. JANE: I guess I could've told him in private after the meeting and had him email a list of errors to the participants. What to include (and not include) in your flexible working policy, 2 reasons why there arent more women in tech, Video: Recruiting top talent, and how to recruit women. Condescension can be a feature of the Mr. If the conversation is casual, and someone mispronounces a name or a word, there's a good chance it's not worth correcting them at all. This response allows for the employee to explain themselves as well as allows them to rephrase any concerns they may have appropriately and respectfully. The constant interjection is simply not necessary and comes across as narcissistic. 9. We have unskilled pencil pushers who think they are completely untouchableuntil they find out they are. We've all been in a conversation that's moving along just fine, when suddenly you find yourself whisked off on an unexpected detour, riding out someone's impassioned explanation of something that you already know. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Do you not care? you could say, No, I heard you, I just wasnt able to get to it.. Last Updated: December 16, 2022 A condescending person might say something like, "Well, I would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong." 2 They may be trying to prove how smart they are. They aren't very empathetic. That person might speak 10 languages, but if they mispronounced a single word, theyll be considered stupid by a condescending native speaker. When it comes to interacting with people who are providing you with a service of some kind-whether it's the custodian in your office building, a server at a restaurant, your housekeeper, or your cab driver-nicknames are especially risky. Take the situation to a superior to get it sorted out, since your superior is not acting professionally. They're talking at you, wide-eyed, offering each key point like a gift -"so after almost 30 years in prison, he won the Nobel Peace Prize" - and you hardly have the heart to derail their monologue and say, "Uh yeah, I know who Nelson Mandela is.". 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\n<\/p><\/div>"}. Anyone with a shred of self-awareness will take that cue to track down the right pronunciation, and if they don't bother, then going forward, it's not worth your time to correct them anyway. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Aggression such as shouting, yelling and belittling comments are all obvious signs of condescension. Originally published The overcorrecting employee corrects even the most trivial things. Entrepreneur and its related marks are registered trademarks of Entrepreneur Media Inc. From calling people 'chief' to saying you 'actually' like someone's idea, here are some patronizing behaviors to avoid. Here are some examples of their behavioral patterns. If your boss sends you an email that you think might have a condescending tone, try following up with them about it in their office the get a better idea of whether or not it was intentional. Sometimes, they also tend to make unnecessary noise so they can cover up their ignorance. Whenever I try to talk to them about something that bothers me I get these examples. So if someone's head is within patting reach-perhaps they are much shorter than you, or are sitting in a wheelchair, or an office chair-and you feel the urge to pat coming on, just remove yourself from the situation. I think he was unnerved. Call Him on It. Manage your time effectively. Confronting condescending employees will not be pleasant. MANAGER: I can't disagree with that reasoning. "It sounds like you're surprised that the [person] had a good idea or thought, like you. 3. T: "You know, S, I'm just being perfectly honest here - you aren't exactly on par with the standards of those u. Take a step back to evaluate their behavior. Heres How. Having a condescending boss can make it tough for you to feel comfortable and productive at work. Create a culture of accountability. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Copyright @ Australian HR Institute. Listen more. EMPLOYEE: (Its taken forever, I've been waiting all week to hear back.). It is possible to learn how to stop be condescending if you want to stop. Youll often get this type of remark from someone who considers themselves to be more intelligent or well-educated than you are. Related: 25 Words That Make Other People Feel Inferior. Ive been purposely pacing out the information in the order I feel is most appropriate and important for your success. Thats the entire intention, really. As an example, when my partner was working in a bookstore in her early twenties, a customer asked her if she could help them find a particular book. The company VP was horrified. We'll be in your inbox every morning Monday-Saturday with all the days top business news, inspiring stories, best advice and exclusive reporting from Entrepreneur. Flying off the handle only makes the other person believe that their behaviour is justified. Others are likely to find this behavior condescending and a bit pathetic. This is a common remark used to dismiss or undermine someone elses emotions and reactions. Once again, this is a commentary on a persons aptitude. Answer (1 of 12): When I started out in my last job, I needed to network with the sales and marketing and other teams pretty quickly and soon encountered a few colleagues who had been working there for many years - sometimes 10+ years. A woman boss might think she's being approachable or motherly by calling her female employees "honey" or "sweetie," but that can lead to a sense of false familiarity that makes it difficult for employees to speak frankly.